WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
DONALD TRUMP: We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the
road. We will have a door for legal chickens.
JOHN KERRY: We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.
CHRIS CHRISTIE: We need to water board that chicken to find out why it crossed
the road.
RAND PAUL: It's none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.
NANCY PELOSI: We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it
says.
CARLY FIORINA: Hilary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.
BRIAN WILLIAMS: I crossed the road with the chicken.
BEN CARSON: This isn't brain surgery. So why did the chicken cross the road?
SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!
BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can
keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs.
Period.
HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken
crossed the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just
want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either
with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must
first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem
on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is
acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants
to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes
and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so
that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the
chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told
us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Realist - Everybody in America is soft, and hates conflict. The cure for this, both in politics and social life, is the same -- hardihood. Give them raw truth.
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