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Re: Too funny...

By: Beldin in CONSTITUTION | Recommend this post (0)
Sun, 05 Feb 12 3:53 AM | 67 view(s)
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Msg. 17307 of 21975
(This msg. is a reply to 17306 by DueDillinger)

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It's also a sad commentary on our current societal norms that:

(1) Anyone would publicly admit, let alone file a lawsuit and testify in court, that they injured themselves by moronically attempting to fire a bottlerocket out of their own ass.

(2) Anyone would think, for even a nano-second, that someone else should pay them for injuries sustained from their moronic attempt to fire a bottlerocket out of their own ass.

(3) The judge did not immediately tell this anal fireworks wunderkind that he is an abject idiot who is responsible for his own, self-inflicted injuries and that he should "GET THE HELL OUT OF THE COURTROOM AND YOUR CHARRED ASS IS NEVER TO RETURN!" Oh, and ... "Have a nice day. And, don't let the door hit your burned bum on the way out."

Rolling Eyes




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The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence


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The above is a reply to the following message:
Too funny...
By: DueDillinger
in CONSTITUTION
Sun, 05 Feb 12 3:31 AM
Msg. 17306 of 21975

Lawsuit: Defendant Breached a Duty Not to Shoot Bottle Rockets Out of His Anus

From a complaint filed on January 23 in West Virginia, reported today by Courthouse News Service:

8.    [Defendant] was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the [Alpha Tau Omega fraternity] deck, located on the back of the ATO house.

10. [Defendant] placed a bottle rocket in his anus [and] ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in Defendant's rectum, and this startled plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent to the deck.

13. Per the applicable codes ... the deck in question should have had a railing, which comported with said codes.

16. ATO owed plaintiff a duty to provide a safe deck, including a railing, and ... a duty to supervise its guests and its own fraternity members, such as Defendant, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one's own anus.

18. [Defendant] also owed plaintiff ... a duty of care not to drink under age, or to fire bottle rockets out of his anus.

19. [Defendant] breached this duty when he both drank under age ... and attempted to fire a bottle rocket out of his anus while under the influence. The act of firing a bottle rocket, within Huntington City Limits, was also a crime.

22. Plaintiff asserts that the activity of underaged drinking and firing bottle rockets out of one's own anus constitutes an "ultra-hazardous" activity which exposes both of these defendant to strict liability.

The complaint ( http://www.courthousenews.com/2012/02/02/Rocket.pdf ) doesn't say whether Defendant was injured by his attempt to fire a bottle rocket out of his anus. To learn that, we may have to wait for Defendant's own lawsuit against ATO for allowing him to drink and, I assume, the manufacturer of the defective bottle rocket.

http://www.loweringthebar.net/2012/02/bottle-rocket.html

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