Hospice has been called for my father and he is now receiving care from the hospice team. His battery in the pacemaker which has kept his heart beating for the past ten and a half years has finally started to decline nad his pulse has slowed 17 percent, from the 60 beat per minute down to fifty. That is an nidicator the voltage of the battery has finally started to decrease and it is only a question of when it will lose enough to not forceibly pump the heart that has two valves that are pretty much nonworking without this..
He is very weak also at his age of almost 91. Out of breath if he sits up or exerts in any way.
I have been expecting this time for months but now that it has arrived you discover that it still remains difficult to watch your parent slowly die.
Each day from now on is precious and could be the final day I have him.
If I sometimes seem a bit irrational or over reactionary, please forgive me as I a gong thru some very difficult and trying times trying to coordinate wih siblings who I don;t think much of and are all self centered, and fightinf witht he nursing home staff to be able to come and see my father, which hospice finally has told them we could come...
He does not speak and mostly he can just look at my wife and I and occasionally a grin will come.. I wonder if he knows he is near death as he is final stage of dementia?
In any event, these are emotional and difficult days for me so please bear with me if I come across as being a grumpy old codger... like ribs..... lol!!!!! (just kidding)
I will see you all when I can so when I am infrequent you will understand and know why.
Pray daily for the one we call Kathy. She needs that....
One of you guys who know her real first name please email me and tell me so I can lift her before God with her actual name.... please.
Got to go as I have to get ready for today.
The Lord bless you all and keep you safe from this virus and harm.
micro....
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