IMO, You are 100 percent correct and I do agree with that assesment. However,
I don;t think you are a rabid youngster and you might enjoy some of the features of a smartphone. Plenty to choose from and you do not have to get carried away to get a decent phone that works. The MAIN thing is to get a decent charger for your car if you need to plug it in to charge while driving somewhere.
ALL 12V plug in chargers are not the same and MOST are not worth having. I finally consulted with my son in law who atually has a MAsters Plus in COmputer Sciences and is certified by Microsoft and Cisco Systems. I now have for $14.99 a strong car charger thatthe phone actually will charge while it is on and I am driving.
You should seriously think about getting a smartphone. I think you would like it. Texting is really easy on a smartphone...
Good luck Sir Wizard !!