That depends ...
* How will you be using the pistol? By that, I mean ... will it remain in your house for home defense purposes or will you be carrying it around with you when you are out and about?
* How experienced are you with handling handguns? Are you comfortable when shooting them or not? Your comment about hives might be a clear indication as to the latter.
* How big are your hands?
If you get a good instructor, he should be able to get you trained ... no, not potty training - that's a lost cause ... handling the pistol safely, comfortable in how to load and operate the pistol, firing the pistol accurately at short range, properly maintaining the weapon ... in a relatively short period of time - if you are truly interested and apply yourself. Most men have experience with firearms already ... and have already developed bad habits ... so, men are more difficult to train because you have to break their bad habits, first. Most women are blank slates when it comes to firearms and can start out the right way with a good instructor.
I know plenty of women who fire .45s just fine, so if concealability and portability are not a major concern, then I'd say you should at least try a small to medium frame 9mm. 9s really don't kick that much more than .380s and they pack a much better punch.
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