...I have posted a recipe for approved sandwiches and a serving schedule on the front of the fridge. I tossed all that "healthy food crap" she buys in the garbage and filled the fridge with beer. She is balking a bit at the urinal on the wall in the living room.

...holding out for one of these so I can hold my sammich in one hand and my beer in the other while I whiz

Liberals are like a "Slinky". Totally useless, but somehow ya can't help but smile when you see one tumble down a flight of stairs!