Atomic Bob's Stock Forum - The Golden Thread

Dear Mr. Cole:
I understand that you love Kalifornia more than "Dickweed," Montana (a little overly gratuitous, there, I think) and Texas ("suicide-inducingly dull" - you must have driven I-10 to I-20 and then across, which means you missed the vast majority of the very real diversity our state offers - your loss), and to each his own. I certainly do not begrudge your choice - for you, anyway. HOWEVER, I DO want to ask you a personal favor - if you are willing to confine yourself ... residence-wise, that is ... to the borders of The Land of Fruits & Nuts, okay ... BUT, you need to do the same for all the other f#%king, bat-sh!t crazy morons you share that state with. DO NOT allow them to move out of your communal hell-hole under ANY circumstances. Kalifornians are a pestilence of terminal idiocy. WE DON'T WANT 'EM! THEY'RE YOURS ... YOU KEEP 'EM!
Yours truly,

Elmo Fuddpucker, Esq.

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence

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