"Back when I was younger the touch of a woman's breast would scare my pants off."
Ah, so that was your excuse for why your pants came off so quickly, eh? Question - did mz. ribit actually buy that line or did she just humor you because she knew that one day you would be King of Toad Suck?

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence