Hmmm ... after searching the gutters of Houston, high and low ... mainly low, don'tcha know ... I could probably come up with something that might compare to that ... BUT WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT???!!!
Okay ... I get yer point, sire. I concede. You got the ugliest, so ... you lose.

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence