...my truck has so many gadgets that it is not safe to drive unless you have two people in it. One to drive and another to be the gadget operator. The only two of the gadgets I would have are things I installed aftermarket. One is a dash cam and the other is a backup cam. Sirius radio is a waste of time except that mz ribit likes to listen to ch 32 on it, therefore I only need the one channel. I am not allowed to turn it off that channel even if I go for a ride by myself.
-------------

I can't drive and I can't work gadgets. Oh UBER, my new best friend - I can't call you anyway bec/ you need a smart phone. I have a smart phone. Yep, don't know how to use it. I AM TOTALLY SCREWED.
Can't you duct tape channel 32 so it doesn't jump around to another channel?
------------
there is two mileage thingy's on it and they are both operated by the same switch that controls the brightness of the dashboard lights. To control brightness ya has to twist it and to reset the mileage thingy ya has to push it in. It is located in such a position that you cannot touch it without bumping the windshield wiper thingy and turning that sumbitch on.

This is my nightmare come true. I drove around yesterday with my brights on. I didn't know it because you can't see it on the dashboard. It is blocked by the steering wheel. So, everyone in this god's world is giving me the signal that I have my brights on. Their lights are going on, off, on, off, on, off......I know I am driving with every IDJIT ever born. It wasn't until I got home that I realized there was only one IDJIT on the road. omg
I hope it doesn't rain. Wipers? And where might they be?
----------
it has a floor shift thingy that has a button on the side to put in overdrive. When you turn it on ya get a light on the dashboard that says overdrive off. That is to remind you to turn it off I suppose. There is another button located on the lower part of the dash where ya can't find it without taking ya eyes off the road for a minute or so. It is to lock the rear axles so ya has bofum spinning instead of just one. It is spozed to keep ya from getting stuck.
----------

I can tell this is not a joke. If you are driving, why do you need to OVER-drive it, yanno? You're either driving it or not. I never heard of overdrive.
You southern boys and your trucks! And, btw, what is wrong with taking your eyes off the road for a minute or two? ))
---------
...the hands free phone thingy is alright if ya just want to answer a call but if you want to make a call this really obnoxiously voiced female starts telling ya how to make a call. She does it every fricken time ya try to make one no matter that you already know. Ya have to listen to all of it. There is a manual mode but I have been unable to determine how to put it in that mode and even if I did I am sure that I would have to put it in manual mode everytime I made a call.
-------

That hands-free phone female sounds exactly like my GPS lady. "RECALCULATING" Look, snotball, you didn't tell me to turn when the road appeared out of nowhere, so it's your fault you had to recalculate. She sounds very judgmental. Ribit, do you really want to tawk to somebody when you're driving? Goodgod, I don't even want to tawk to anybody when I'm home. Speaking of the manual mode, have you read the MANUAL? I know, I haven't either. I don't even know if I have one.
--------
the back doors have a lever on the side of the door that keeps the back doors from opening when ya put the thing is park. I think the automastic door unlocking thingy for when ya put it in park is a convenience feature. Not convenient for me, convenient for "sliders" who will steal everything out the other side of the car while you is pumping gas. I am told that the back door locks is to keep children from opening the backdoor while you are going down the road. Gimmee a break. My kids are in their middle forties. The only thing I have ever found it useful for is activating it when the wifes crazy sister is riding with us. It annoys her no end that when I turn off the truck that she has to wait for somebody to open the door for her from the outside. She gets so angry it looks like her head might explode.
-----

I might have some of these features, too. They sound familiar. It's not only the back doors but the passenger door, too. I always wondered who locked those doors when I left them unlocked the night before. I just learned how to pump my own gas. I am from NJ and it is against the law to pump your own gas. Compared to other states, the gas was relatively cheap. It was the real estate taxes that would drive you away, permanently. That's so you can move to a state where you have to pump your own gas, and pay 50% more for the pleasure.

Your kids are in their mid-forties? I don't think so. Check with the boss, as she is 39 like me.
HAHAHA, re: sister-in-law. Ya know, ribit, I kind of think you like her. If you really don't like her, let her head explode. I don't want to get in the middle of this, in case you give nemo up, and let me live down south with you. smooch.
------------

then the damned thing sits too high off the ground. Ya can't wash the rear windows (outside) without getting a ladder and I cannot get into the back of the truck to load or unload anything or sweep it out or anything else unless I have a ladder. My days of scaling 8 foot walls are fifty years in the past.

Take it to a car wash. Sell the 8-foot ladder. Don' load or unload anything. SELL THE TRUCK! Buy a smart phone and call UBER.
---------
there is a hood latch inside the truck that is in a different place every time ya look for it.

ribit, you mean to tell me that your hood latch is ALIVE? It moves from one place to another while you're not looking? Forget opening the hood is my motto. I don't really know how to pull that hood latch anyway. I get it mixed up with all of those other latches. Why would I open the hood? I don't know anything about cars and what's the big deal about opening the hood?
---------
windshield wiper has about a hundred different speeds and ya can find the exact speed ya need if ya pull over to the side of the road an work on it half hour or so.
----------

I can't drive in the rain because I can't remember how to work the windshield wipers. That is when I can find the brights, but no wipers.
-----------

electric window raiser and lowerer. All of them seem to be ok except for the one on the drivers side which goes all the way down if you touch it. The best use I have found for the electric window thingy is that one time me and the wife and her sister was sittin at a traffic light and there was one of them automatic sprinkling thingy's spraying water directly on the side window that my wife's sister was sitting next to. I let it down. Boy was she pissed.
------

I have that feature, too. Driver's side window goes all the way down for no reason. Oh no, you are going to be disowned. Mz ribit is not going to tolerate your intolerance of her sister. It's just intolerable.
-------

...it woulda cost me $5000 to get my old chevy truck fixed up. I wish I had spent the money.

and after doing the calculations, it seems like you would have had $32 grand left over.

-----

DID DECOMPOSED ADVISE YOU TO BUY A NEW TRUCK?
HE TOLD ME TO BUY A NEW CAR WHEN MY BLINKER LIGHTS WOULD NOT WORK.

DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, ESPECIALLY ABOUT BROWSERS AND SUCH. OR SHOOTING GROUNDHOGS FOR DINNER. OR GROWING TOMATOES OVER SEPTIC TANKS.

LOVE, IRMA/ ANGIE xx