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Snow Lessons 

By: Decomposed in POPE 5 | Recommend this post (3)
Mon, 26 Nov 18 6:43 PM | 66 view(s)
Boardmark this board | Pope 5 		Msg. 14516 of 62138
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It's been my experience that the years pass faster as I age. My theory for explaining this is that when life is boring, time speeds up. Once life turns routine, death can only be around the corner.

Since I don't see that as a particularly good thing, I look forward to new experiences and learning opportunities. Here in the North, I'm having them every day! For instance:

• The dog's fresh poop carves a path through newly fallen snow like a warm knife through butter, appearing invisible in a field that is otherwise pristine. The poop can thereafter only be detected in interesting and (debatably) unpleasant ways, the two most common being (1) Waiting (possibly for weeks) until the snow melts and (2) Sending friends outside to make angels in the snow.

• Poop left in the snow is easier to grab with a bagged hand since it is hard. However, it is more difficult to actually remove since both it and the snow tend to solidify and affix themselves to one another. Fortunately, the geology courses I took in college are finally paying off. With my trusty Pointed Tip Rock Pick and a propane torch, I can usually extract and bag a poop in under five minutes.

• Although dog poop hardens impressively in the snow, it retains, miraculously, an ability to smell and stick when channeled through a snow blower. [Not Recommended since it may "gum up" the interior.] This is mitigated to a considerable degree if the snow and poop are slushy, in which case what emerges from the blower is more of high-velocity chocolatey froth with little or no odor.


I am documenting these and other fun discoveries in my upcoming book, 'De's Adventures in Wonderland.' Publishers are fighting amongst themselves for the rights.




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Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months


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