My diode test reading is 1,250 - not the "500 to 800 millivolts" that the video says I should get.
That's the bad news. The good news is that when I reverse the leads, my reading is zero... which is what the video says it should be.
I'm left not knowing whether the alternator is bad or the video is wrong.
Or both.
Time to take it to AutoZone.

Gold is $1,581/oz today. When it hits $2,000, it will be up 26.5%. Let's see how long that takes. - De 3/11/2013 - ANSWER: 7 Years, 5 Months