I hate to disappoint, ribit, but I do not find Taylor Swift all that attractive on the whole ... there's something very off-putting about her to me. So, if you're okay with it, we'll use that second $100 bill of yours to buy a good bottle of sour mash and a couple of steaks (I'll grill and eat mine, and you can use yours to put on your black eye) to celebrate your 15 minutes of fame (infamy?).

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence