A left wing Politician, a TV Reporter and a British soldier were captured by ISIS.
They were as usual sentenced to death by beheading.
Unexpectedly, the ISIS leader said they could have one last wish each before sentence was carried out.
The Politician asked to hear a rendering of keep the red flag flying here.
The Reporter asked that the beheading be televised so that even when he was dead his face would be on TV.
The Trooper asked to be kicked three times up the arse.
This was carried out first, and as the last kick landed the Trooper pulled a hidden 9 mm pistol out of his smock shot three terrorists dead, grabbed one of their fallen AK47s and shot dead the rest of the terrorists.
The other two prisoners were amazed, and asked why he requested to be kicked three times before drawing his gun.
Because, said the Trooper, “when we get back to the UK I don’t want you pair of arseholes saying it was an unprovoked attack !”
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good ...
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