You need to teach your minions to be better negotiators, my friend.
Monkey mafia steal your stuff, then sell it back for a cracker
http://www.newscientist.com/article/2132748-monkey-mafia-steal-your-stuff-then-sell-it-back-for-a-cracker/

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence