... by a feces-flinging monkey, no less
... that everyone here at Hooters has fallen asleep.
Well, in order to get everyone up and at 'em, again ... and in honor of the ongoing March Madness ... we will have a little contest called "Just How Many Basketballs Is She Hiding Under Her Shirt."
Contestant #1:

As an aside ... this should make for a very interesting tennis match, no?

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence