With no malice aforethought!
Sep 12: While many schools are non-conference-scheduling the Sisters of the Poor and Deaf and Dumb and Lena Dunham, UT takes the OU Sooners to overtime before losing by 7. Sooners will go on to be one of the "Final Four" in the first true 1A college playoff system.
Sep 26: UT loses to the Gaytoes, who will go into bowl season ranked 19 to the Vols' 23, by 1, though they shouldn't have. Florida will lose their bowl game to a team from a state shaped like a mitten.
Oct 3: UT loses to Arkansas Razorbacks- only by 4, but seems worse as this observer never felt they were in the game.
Oct 24: UT loses to Alabama by 5, never out of the game. Alabama will go on to embarrass Michigan State 38-0 in the "Final Four" in the first true 1A college playoff system.
In the interim: UT wins all their other games, some of which are against schools with mascots who are canines whose pulmonary systems cannot sustain their existence without being encased in ice, a carefully bred trait which connotes a fierce opponent.
Also in the interim: Some schools in the North, including one named after THE inedible nut, duck their way through ten weeks of scrimmages before meeting a ranked opponent, upon which they fall like a pollaxed steer.
Jan 1: #23 ranked UT beats #13 ranked Northwesternished 45-6 without really breathing real heavy. Rankings are dumb. Especially coaches' rankings. I mean, what college football fan has less time to devote to understanding the nuances of each college football weekend than a college football coach?
Projection for 2016: OK, you sissies. We are coming, we are experienced, we are hungry, and we are pissed!
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