"You somehow want a limit on the loan size so that the cost is not disruptive of a person's life."
No I don't.
Its the choice of the parents & child.
Lets face it, many parents want to brag, regardless of the ridiculous cost!
But then many of them have lived high on the hog, abusing credit cards & refinancing mortgages to the point the home in essence is 'worthless'.
If you chose to go to an expensive, out of state college, living away from home, that's fine. Don't expect others to finance it.

DO SOMETHING!