Twinkies!
We understand that the perennial Twinkie will be returning to the consumer shelves sometime next month during the July sales period. The economy has weathered the storm without them but there are those souls upon this earth that cannot seem to do without this particular type of treat. If you don’t know what they are, they are a golden colored baked item with a white creamy interior that come two in a package. And they are usually packaged with clear cellophane over them so one can see what one is getting.
No one can really say that Twinkies are good for you. And we are reasonably sure that there has been some forms of mortality associated with them. We know that there are people who have gone through a period of withdrawal similar to what drug addicts or severe cigarette smokers have experienced with the loss of their Twinkies.
When one confronts a package of Twinkies staring at you from their place, usually on a grocery shelf or perhaps at a Seven/eleven, it is a truly inviting experience. If one can pass them by, one is better off but they have such a history about them and one can easily remember the feast that they are when they glide down the throat and into the waiting stomach. We wonder what the price point will be for a package of them and how long it will be before the bakeries that produce them will be able to keep up with the expected demand out there for them. It must be a really pent up demand!
We put Twinkies in the category of those sugary high energy drinks such as Five Hour Energy which the former athlete Bo Jackson is peddling in commercials today. “Hi! I’m Bo Jackson, I’m a father, a two sport athlete, a businessman, a philanthropist. I keep my body sharp and my mind sharper, and I drink Five Hour Energy.”
Who will end up being the spokesman for Twinkies? If John Candy were still alive it might be him! You need a really rotund person to advertise for the Twinkie and John Candy would certainly fit that category to a tee. We wonder just how many sugar highs will occur as children, and adults, sample this quiescently American treat. There is a lot of sugar in the Twinkie! Will New York mayor Michael Bloomberg limit Twinkie consumption in the city as he wages his continual war against obesity. The return of the Twinkie is certainly not going to help that cause!
When Hostess corporation went bankrupt we must confess that the idea of not being able to get a Twinkie crossed our mind. But we, on some primal level, realized that they would be back because something like that could not be gone from the American scene for very long. They are talking about the looming demise of American icons such as Sears and J.C. Penny due to lagging support but we never had to worry about the Twinkie. On some level, even if this current reincarnation does not succeed, there will always be the Twinkie. We know this because a friend once told us that a Twinkie will survive about anything due to the preservatives inside of it. An acquaintance once told us that a friend of his left a Twinkie on a fence post for over six months and it had not deteriorated one bit!
We were once up in Deadwood, South Dakota to see the sights. One of the things that we saw were the graves of Wild Bill Hickok and Calamity Jane. They were great friends and even lovers in their time. The thing about Bill Hickok is this. His body turned to complete stone and was petrified, leaving his handsome profile on display for all to see who could get inside of his grave. We wonder if one ate enough Twinkies that they might become preserved that way as well. Or, just perhaps it might be a way to achieve immortality. If one ate enough of them perhaps they would never die.
We’re going to pass on the opportunity to have that experience!
IOVHO,
Regards,
Joe
To say that "God exists" is the greatest understatement ever made across space and time.
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