NRA convention daily schedule
8:00am - Opening prayer by Mike Huckabee
8:30am - Bring your gun to Breakfast
9:00am - Rand Paul - How to use infrared lights attached to your hat to avoid drone detection while on American soil
9:30am - Palin on the Apocalypse and why god wants you to own an assault rifle
10:00am - Straw Poll on which Republican deserves to be Stoned to Death first: Chris Christie for not Obama-hating enough before the election or John Kasich/Rick Scott/Rick Snyder for accepting the Medicaid Expansion
10:30am - Paul Broun on why evolution is a theory straight from the pit of hell
11:00am - John McCain on why war is natures way
11:30am - Pat Robertson on how mass shootings are caused by Harry Potter
12:00 noon - Lunch on the veranda (wear your tinfoil hats to protect from commie mind control) while Rick Perry sings white supremacist favorites
1:00pm - Reince Priebus - How Republicans can rig the electoral vote and discourage minorities from getting to the polls
1:30pm - Christine O’Donnell denies owning flying monkeys
2:00pm - Rep. Boehner on why carbon dioxide doesn't cause cancer
2:30pm - Sheriff Joe Arpaio on how to landmine the Mexican border
3:00pm - Michele Bachman - Better methods to pray the gay away
3:30pm - Rick Santorum - Why the end times make pollution moot
4:00pm - Biology with Todd Akin
4:30pm - Glen Beck on how to validate ignorance and overcome truth
5:00pm - Drinks and conversation with special guest Paul Ryan who will explain why the poor suck and need to be left to starve so they'll quit being lazy.
5:30pm - Bobby Jindal's closing prayer and apology for calling us "the party of stupid
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