Betrayal
"After saying this Jesus was troubled in spirit, and declared, "Very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me."" John 13: 21
What can be done about betrayal, if anything at all? You could try to stop it from happening in the first place. Then again you could never have any relationships because that is the only way to achieve prevention. You could also never cook in your oven, because then you would never have to clean it. Or never get out of bed, because then you wouldn't have to make it. To avoid the challenge of spring cleaning, you could just avoid spring altogether. Yes, all of these are cynical ways of saying you can't avoid betrayal in the first place.
Jesus' method of dealing with betrayal is interesting in the light of this realism. He is "troubled in spirit."
Most of us would like to avoid any such thing, at all costs. But another direction may be warranted. We could anticipate betrayal and that we indeed will be troubled in spirit from time to time. We may also get sick. We will also die. We will also love people whom we cannot fix or cure. We will be betrayed by our own limitations, time after time.
In God's Hotel: A Doctor, a Hospital, and a Pilgrimage to the Heart of Medicine, Victoria Sweet tells the story of a patient who was terminally ill from breast cancer. She had to tell her, "There is nothing else I can do for you." "Not true," responded the patient, "You can give me friendship."
You can be troubled in spirit, and I can be troubled in spirit, and neither of us need be betrayed by the trouble in our spirit. Victoria Sweet, who practices "slow medicine," argues that what's troubling about doctors today is that they never hear the groan and growl of pain. Many doctors haven't ever seen a person suffer into and unto death. They just increase the morphine drip. The good news may be that the suffering is minimized on the way out, especially if you are the one suffering. The bad news is that pain never gets recognized for what it is and can be. We who anesthetize become anesthetized. I so wish no one had to face betrayal or suffering or death. Since that wish will probably not be granted, I recommend we give it friendship. There is something else I can do for you.
As Lent deepens in us this week, and we go through the betrayal and death of Jesus with each other and again with him, let us lay hands on our own pains. Amen.
Donna Schaper is Senior Minister, Judson Memorial Church, New York, New York.
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