Secure Insecurity
"You who live in the shelter of the Most high, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust."
For God will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilance; God will cover you with pinions, and under God's wings you will find refuge...
You will not fear the terror of the night, or the arrow that flies by day, or the pestilance that stalks in darkness...
For God will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.
On their hands they will bear you up, so that you will not dash your foot against a stone."
Psalm 91: 1-6, 11-12
So I don't have to worry about any of those things? I can leave my doors unlocked? Ignore my childs high fever? Leave the body armor at the base? No harm will befall me, nothing touch me, nothng do me in?
If only.
Experience says that God can spread those pinion as far as they'll reach, and we can all huddle under them, trusting like crazy, and one of us is still going to have stroke and die before he's fifty; another will still lose her last dime in the market; and someone else's handsome child will still come home from the war with the cognative capacity of a three year old. Oh, and Mary's boy, the one who wanted to gather chicks under his wings? That ends badly too.
So what good is shelter that doesn't shelter?
I can't explain. But here is something that I know. The psalmist who composed this confident song was a human being. That means that he dashed his foot against plenty of stones. It's a sure bet his heart got beat up too. Like him, believers have always known (and never denied) that under God's wings you can lose your spouse, your job, and your hair. And yet, knowing what we know, we can't help it. We sing about unfailing refuge; safety in the night; angels preventing stumbles and stubbed toes. We say, "God's heart beats steady and strong next to every frightened heart." We say, "Nothing in all creation can separate us from God." Even on the cross, feeling utterly abandoned, we say, "Into your hands, God of outspread wings, we command our spirits." And we believe every word we say.
Go figure. Go give thanks.
In you we find refuge even when we don't. Under your wings, we are safe even when we are not. We're not sure how, but we're grateful. Teach us to spread our wings too, so that all who come to us for refuge will discover the same mystery of secure insecurity, and praise your holy name. Amen
Mary Luty is visiting Professor of Worship and Preaching at Andover Newton Theological School
To say that "God exists" is the greatest understatement ever made across space and time.
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