An indication of how desperate people have become to find work. This was originally posted on CraigsList, for readers in the Washington D.C. metropolitan area.
Home Protection
Date: 2012-07-10, 12:17AM
Home security is essential to your lifestyle. It is what guarantees you sleep well at night. It is what guarantees your kids safety while they play their games or do their homework. If you live in a predominately white neighborhood, and are need of home protection, look no further. Help is here. Home security systems often fail, and they can be disabled by a smart crook. I am an African American male double majoring in computer information systems and psychology, and the service I offer is unique. What I am doing is not playing on race, but is something that is a fact. I personally don't care either way about someone's race. Regardless, if you think your household is in danger, I am your solution. I am offering my services as an authentic African American to help protect your biggest investment, your home. My security packages are as follows.
Level 1= For $100- a few of my friends and I will come to your house and sit on your front lawn for approximately 3 hours, just talking and looking intimidating.
Level 2= For $350- we will wear temporary tattoos of your choice and arrive in a vehicle that can be viewed as suspicious. We will also play rap music at a startling volume if need be, but if you get a noise complaint from your neighbor, that is on you. Your time is extended to 5 hours.
Level 3= For $600- we will be topless (we are in decent shape) and also will be smoking. We will also drink from brown paper bags (no worries, the bags will have soda bottles in them. We will not actually consume alcohol on duty). Your time is also extended to 7 hours.
Level 4= For $1,000- we will offer night services up until 3 in the morning, starting no sooner than 8pm. Please keep in mind if you will be home during those hours or sleep, the music is of course optional. We will also call each other by code names. I will be known as "Tyshon". At this level, we will also bring voluptuous women to remain in our company, partake in various card games such as spades (you can join as well), and include everything from the above levels.
During this time, we will be performing reconnaissance and checking your perimeter and surrounding area. If we notice anything suspicious, we will notify you upon your arrival. If we notice anything threatening to your household, we will notify the police. I am a veteran of the United States Air Force and have worked for various government agencies. I am experienced in close combat and do come with my own protection (no firearms as I do not have a carry permit). If anyone threatens you or your family while I am on duty, I will assist you if need be. I do doubt anyone would be willing to walk through my group and I, however, to get to you.
Let me assure you, nothing deters crime more than authentic black people wearing baggy clothes, smoking, drinking, and looking intimidating. If the police are called to your house by intimidated neighbors, you will have to sort this out. You will sign a disclaimer when we arrive to verify the business transaction. This is documented proof of our services. Call me (Rajon) at 202-670-6390 to arrange a transaction.
* Location: metro
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/mld/hss/3129618394.html
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