Clo,
The reality is that, like it or not, the Speaker of the House is ultimately responsible for deciding who can and who cannot address Congress, and this is particularly true if that person is the President. This is based on old English law (whether Wingers like it or not, much of what is proscribed in the Constitution in terms of procedures and practices, came from the Magna Carta and British Parliamentary rules and procedures) which requires that the monarch, or in our case, the Chief Executive, petition the people's representatives, which in England is the person of the Speaker of the House of Commons (not the Prime Minister) and in America the Speaker of the House, John Boehner. That's why there was the public letter from the White House to the Speaker's Office making the formal request, it's required as part of protocol. But speaking of protocol, it's generally understood that while the President is required to make a formal request, the Speaker is required to accommodate those requests. Boehner just forgot to read his script and as a result has insulted not so much Obama, but the Office of the President, something which I'm sure that Eric Cantor will remind everyone of when the new Congress is seated in 2013 and he challenges Boehner for the Speaker's seat, if of course the Republicans manage to hang onto the House.
So the bottom line, while John Boehner had the legal right to deny Obama's request to speak to a joint session of Congress, he looks juvenile and petty for refusing to accommodate that request.
But at least Obama is not expected to stand outside the Capital and pound on the door of the House like the Queen has to do when she's asking to speak to Parliament (but she is permitted to wear her crown ;-)

OCU