ribit,
I have plenty of sympathy for others since I am very aware of my own personal flaws and weaknesses, but for those who continue to insist on worsening their own condition, as well as worsening the condition of those around them, by intentionally making bad choices, my sympathy fades over time. If you're attempting to help clo see the facts and wake up to reality, you are fighting willful blindness on her part.
Regards,
B.

The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence