re: "Most of us didn't know and didn't care about gay usage of the term."
Oh, I think those who came up with it as a reference to the Tea Partiers knew full well what they were doing. It's a not-so-inside-joke that will ALWAYS be, primarily, a reference to gay sex.
I definitely believe in manners and civility when in public. I think we need more people to speak up when others are being rude. So I guess you're right. I must be prudish.