... if'n lifeguarding in Toad Suck don't work out, ya might wanna consider applying fer da lifeguard position at THE Ohio State Natatorium. Apparently, it's a much more challenging position than simply makin' sure swimmers don't drown ... THE Ohio State Afletic Department would want ya to teach all their afletes how to swim, how to read, how to write, how to count, how to bathe properly, and how to chew bubble gum and cross da street at da same time without gittin' hit by a bus.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
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