VICE: Forget "Heterofatalism," "Mankeeping" Is What’s Keeping Women From Dating
http://twitchy.com/brettt/2025/11/15/vice-mankeeping-is-whats-keeping-women-from-dating-n2421737
This summer, Jean Garnett had a piece in The New York Times Magazine called "The Trouble With Wanting Men." She even had a word for it: "heterofatalism." Garnett is now divorced and dating, so if it sounds like you're her type, get help:
I haven’t been dating long (just the other day my ex-husband and I received our Judgment of Divorce as an email attachment), but long enough to discover that I have a type. He is gentle, goofy, self-deprecating, rather deferential, a passionate humanist, a sweet guy, a “good guy.” He tends to signal, in various ways, his exemption from the tainted category of “men,” and it is perfectly understandable that he would wish to do so. It must be mildly embarrassing to be a straight man, and it is incumbent upon each of them to mitigate this embarrassment in a way that feels authentic to him.
If you're wondering, I think the key attribute - for her, anyway - mentioned in that tirade is "rather deferential." But, then again, I'm just taking a shot in the dark as an armchair psychiatrist.
He tends to signal his exemption from the tainted category of "men." Boy, she sounds like a catch.
And, she probably smells like yesterday's catch-of-the-day, too!
Heterofatalism is so last summer. The reason more and more women are done with dating, according to VICE, is all of the hard work of "mankeeping":
VICE (@VICE) ~ Managing his stress. Interpreting his moods. Holding his hand through feelings he won’t share with anyone else. All of it unpaid, unacknowledged, and often unreciprocated. Is it any wonder women are fed up?
So if it were paid, it would be OK?
Ashley Fike writes for VICE:
Researchers at Stanford have finally given a name to something many women have been dealing with for years. It’s called mankeeping. And it’s helping explain why so many women are stepping away from dating altogether. ...
The Guardian calls mankeeping a modern extension of emotional labor, one that turns a partner into a life coach. This isn’t about avoiding vulnerability. It’s about refusing to carry someone else’s emotional weight while getting little to nothing in return. And there’s nothing wrong with feeling that way.
No, there's nothing wrong with feeling that way. Stay single.
Yes, please - STAY SINGLE! Oh ... and have yourself sterilized, too.
Cruadin (@cruadin) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Good point, no man has ever had to deal with the Byzantine complexity of a woman’s emotions, or had to navigate the perilous labyrinth of feminine moods, all of it unpaid, unacknowledged, and often unreciprocated.
Uncultured Purrl (@AmericanPurrl) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Just guessing, but are all the "researchers" involved single women with daddy issues, whose "love lives" consist of an unending parade of unsatisfying one night stands with men they don't respect, and who return the feeling? Because I wouldn't be surprised.
JWF (@JammieWF) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Managing her meltdowns. Trying to figure her moods. Holding her hand through her deranged behavior. Listening to her psychotic meltdowns over Trump. Is it any wonder men are fed up?
EducatëdHillbilly™ (@RobProvince) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Have you met women?
Probably not since they are unable to define the term "woman."
Aaron Erickson (@AaronErickson) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Unpaid. Huh? Are we supposed to have like a "hug jar" in the living room where you throw a 5 dollar bill in it if your spouse hugs you after a hard day of work? Just want to make sure we're doing this right.
Dino Montana (@TimmyMontana_23) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Anyone wonder why men are done with dating?
Assault Clip, #2A Voter (@assaultclip) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Apparently, women can't do in a relationship what men have always done - be an emotional tampon.
Sir Jean Luc Connery (@JeanLucConnery) ~ {Replying to @VICE} This is an opposite take of reality. I endure the most blistering blabbering of angst and emotional instability from women. And they expect me to take the endless upheavals of their mental state as serious. They are hysteria machines destined for padded cells and lithium.
Michael J. Miraflor (@michaelmiraflor) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Are you seriously trying to make this a thing?
Chow (@ChowRabbit) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Wild idea ... just spitballing, here ... but, maybe not having that attitude would help?!
Marielle Redclaw (@MarieleRedclaw) ~ {Replying to @VICE} Functional adults don't have any of these problems.
Uh, Marielle ... just FYI, but Vice Magazine does NOT cater to functional adults.
We'd ask how old the author of this piece is, but she's just reporting on what Stanford researchers found out. Wonder how big a grant they got to study why women are done with dating?
AND, which Democrat-run NGO gave it to them.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
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