I have it on good authority that ... because Pooty Poot ain't been cooperative on this Ukrainian war thingy ... the braintrust at the CIA has made a recommendation to President Trump to break the stalemate and it involves you, ribit. They are going to treat you to free breakfast, lunch & dinner at Taco Bell for a solid month, and then they are going to parachute you into Moscow. The CIA's estimate is that the Rooskies will be suing for peace within a day or two of your ... uh ... landing.
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