ya can always go cross gender sire. Ya could be an "IT". Or put some Bran Cereal together withm raisin things ya wuz talking about and have breakfast cereal.
MAYBE ya could replace them with a pair of marbles?
Jes trying to help with a suggestion or two...Eat more grits maybe.. Ya could even grow a third eye perhaps?
De knows a great surgeon who may be able to help....