It's "Florida Woman" ... raging "Florida Lebo" to be more exact.
Police: Nurse Battered Her Wife With Cheesy Nachos
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/nacho-battery-637021
May 7, 2025 - A nurse has been accused of shoving cheesy nachos down the leggings of her wife during a 3 AM domestic battery, Florida police allege.
Investigators say that the 40-year-old victim was “making nachos with nacho cheese in the kitchen” when her spouse, Allyson Swan, 39, “told her she shouldn’t be eating this late and made a comment about her weight."
OH OH ... she called her FAT!
During the argument that ensued, Swan--who had been playing video games in the living room--walked over to her spouse and “grabbed a handful of the cheesy nachos and shoved them down the back” of the victim’s leggings.
Allyson Swan - Accused Nacho Attacker
When the victim, who is also a registered nurse, subsequently sought to change her clothes, Swan allegedly dragged her to the floor and “shoved her fingers into either side of her mouth and hooked them like a fish. Allyson then continued to batter her by grabbing her head and slamming it into the floor multiple times.”
During the confrontation, the victim told police, Swan made several comments that she was the one in charge and that her wife “was not behaving.”
A friend of the victim called 911 to report hearing--via on open phone line--Swan striking her spouse.
When police responded to the couple’s Port St. Lucie residence Saturday morning, Swan denied that a physical altercation occurred. She claimed her wife had been in a “drunken rage” and had thrown the plate of nachos and “rolled around and covered herself in nacho cheese.”
However, an examination of the victim’s leggings revealed “what appeared to be nacho cheese on the interior backside--consistent with her story.” A substance resembling nacho cheese was found smeared on a wall. The victim also had a knot on her forehead and a scratch on her right arm.
And while Swan claimed her spouse had thrown the nachos, cops found the ceramic plate they were prepared on was “completely intact.”
Pictured above, Swan was arrested for domestic battery, a misdemeanor. She was freed from the county jail Sunday morning after posting $250 bond.
As a condition of her release, Swan was ordered to have no contact with the victim, and she must stay away from the woman’s car, place of employment, and home. Since Swan resides with the victim, she may return to the residence, accompanied by police, to retrieve her belongings.
The essential American soul is hard, isolate, stoic, and a killer. It has never yet melted. ~ D.H. Lawrence
| 