May 2, 2025
9 Deadly Consequences Of Defunding NPR
by BabylonBee.com
President Trump just defunded NPR... but at what cost? A survey of leading economists and media analysts may surprise you.
The Babylon Bee has compiled the following list of severe ramifications of NPR being defunded:
1. NPR may have to resort to reporting real news: A clear violation of their freedom of speech.
2. No one will know the plight of Mongolian yak farmers: How will people learn if they are not told?
3. There will only be 297 media outlets pushing state propaganda: So few options.
4. Forced to drop the "N" and "P" and just be known as "R": Years of brand building wasted.
5. Fewer job opportunities for people with boring, low-register voices: The job market will become oversaturated by women with glasses who whisper.
6. The likelihood of hearing "Pink Pony Club" in your car will increase by 20%: This is a dangerous result no one took into account.
7. NPR programs will now be interrupted every two minutes with commercials for hemp muumuus and Birkenstocks: Get ready for ads targeting NPR's most loyal listeners.
8. Millions of Americans will be rendered unable to sleep: The loss of the country's most popular sleep aid will have devastating effects.
9. From now on, only a few things will be considered: Cutbacks have consequences.
The world as everyone knows it is about to end. Start prepping your doomsday bunkers now.
http://babylonbee.com/news/9-deadly-consequences-of-defunding-npr
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