1. My goal for 2020 was to lose 10 pounds. Only have 14 to go.
2. Ate salad for dinner - mostly croutons and tomatoes. Really just
one big round crouton covered with tomato sauce, and cheese. FINE,
it was a pizza. OK, I ate a pizza! Are you happy now?
3. How to prepare Tofu:
a. Throw it in the trash
b. Grill some meat, chicken or fish
4. I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.
5. I don't mean to brag, but I finished my 14-day diet food supply in
3 hours and 20 minutes.
6. A recent study has found women who carry a little extra weight
live longer than men who mention it.
7. Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I
had to walk 9 feet through the shag carpet to change the TV channel.
8. Senility has been a smooth transition for me.
9. Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero
outside they closed school? Yeah, Me neither.
10. I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or
talented. I forgot where I was going with this.
11. I love approaching 90, I learn something new every day and forget
5 other things.
12. A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for
money so I woke up and searched with him.
13. I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead
and call it a day.
14. Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.
| 
