Sir wizard.
You obviously have let slip, probably magnanomously, something that has been widely known and told millions of times regarding certain people who live in the United States.. I realize you simply did not want to hurt anyone's feelings but please allow me to give a slight reminder as to what that was....
It goes like this:
Do ya know how to get a hillbilly out of a bathtub???
It does appear that from uyour observation that hillbilly's and Iranians are both allergic to water and soap..
Perhaps the King could weigh in with first hand knowledge
and help us gain fuller understanding..... 
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