I see what you are saying. You are right that he ought to provide guidance and strength. But I think she is exploiting his vulnerabilities, and in particular, the wounds from his childhood.
He wasn't like this until he met her. She's brought her Hollywood ways to the royal family: self-absorption; simplistic virtues; litigation; victim claims; snowflakery. He seems to follow. She wears the trousers.
If they don't want the job, they can quit and make their own way. But there was a role available in helping strengthen relationships between Britain and Commonwealth countries. This was an all-expenses paid-by-taxpayers trip. Something most people would dream of. And all they do is talk about themselves and how unfortunate they are.
They are paid to represent Britain. Not to do exactly as they please. It's not about rights. They have duties. So long as they do so on the taxpayers' dime. Representing Britain may not be what they wish for. They may only be interested in African conservation. But that isn't the entirety of the role offered to the duke and duchess. We expect more than that.
Kate figured it out. Maybe Meghan should ask for her advice, and follow it.