The type of no you describe in that case is bogus.
That type of no, being labeled rape is an oddity.
Alcohol & substances abuse is usually involved in date rape, That complicates things on both sides.
That said, many men believe(d) it was their right to have sex with their wife, even if she said NO. Trump's ex said this happened to her.
Even if you're married, it's your right to say no, and mean no. The reason might be a temporary issue, or it may be they are on the path to divorce.