I know. And you are probably right.
Two behaviors that are characteristic of me are that I am always trying to help others, and, to my own detriment, I'm reluctant to give up on those who show little promise. Indeed, once people are adults, their personality disorders can rarely be fixed. That's been my experience, anyway. Still I try.
So, of those two traits, I consider the second a flaw. I'll work on that. But I refuse to see the first that way!
You should know. You do your best to help people spiritually every day. How often does it turn some poor, lost soul around? Probably not often, I bet. But maybe SOMETIMES, right? Maybe even ONCE? That's why it's worth continuing.
zz has surrounded himself by perversion, self-loathing and disease. How can he possibly break free of it if that's all he sees? I think that's why he's here. The man is not bright. He knows he's not bright. But he IS smart enough to know that his lifestyle stinks, and that part of the reason is the deviant mentality in NYC and in those he calls his friends. In our group, he sees something different.
You'll notice that zz *never* talks about his life. You and I do. We have things to be proud of, to take joy in. But not zz. The poor guy has got nothing but darkness and despair. I have compassion for people who are in that boat.
Part of it too, he needs to understand, is the decisions he has made and continues to make. So, I figured that I would pursue that with him and see if the man can be changed. Probably not, but maybe he will be that ONE person who can be turned around. Wouldn't THAT be amazing? Talk about turning around the life of one of the dregs of society! It would be cool.
In any event, it won't be a long-term investment for me. As I think you know, I'll be going away before much longer... physically, for certain, and virtually, most likely. At least, I don't think I'm going to have daily internet access once I move. (My wife thinks and hopes otherwise - until we move to the new property in a few more years, at which time we will just about certainly be cut off.)
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