Wow. Here I was trying to be friendly, and you react like that.
You know, zz, not as many conservatives hate gays as you seem to think. In fact, not many at all do. I enjoy theatre and have many friends who are gay. Far from resenting me, they appreciate the advice I'm able to offer. You should do the same. And my first piece of advice for you is . . . to lighten up a little. More than that, actually. You should lighten up a LOT. Stop treating people who are morally straight as enemies and instead think of them as role models.
Like clo, you have a problem... a disease you don't deserve. (In clo's case, she does since she brought it upon herself.) That's not something I hate you for. I feel SORRY for you, for cryin' out loud! I can't speak for the others here but I expect they would tell you the same. However, you display such animus toward men who don't have your problem that many here don't even want to read your posts much less help you to improve.
You're a lot younger than clo. You don't have to wind up like her.
I applaud your desire to expose yourself to normalcy. That's healthy. However, you need to get some control over yourself or the only people left in your little circle of friends will be those who have issues as bad or worse than your own. I mean, really. You have clo and OCU as your closest friends? They have no useful advice to spare!
clo, I hear, has gone back to guzzling vodka when she's alone - which is most of the time. She needs a lot of help herself - I mean a *LOT* of help - but there's not much anyone can do to help those who run away. (I have to laugh as I write that since here *I* am heading off to live in the back woods, where people will be a rarity. Yes, there's irony to that but it's not hypocritical. I'm married, not alone, and I have a good life and strong moral foundation from which to start such an adventure.)
For clo, it's probably too late. She's alone, morally bankrupt, in denial . . . and has erected huge barriers against those who might help her. You haven't done that to the extent she has, so there may be hope. Think about it.
I hope that helps. 
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